Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
