I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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