Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
