i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
