Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
