Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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