Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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