at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
