I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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