I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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