he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
