She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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