haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
