yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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