I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
