Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
