I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
