But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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