I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
