I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the room spins SO much faster in panama
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
