My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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