PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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