is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
