NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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