I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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