come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
