I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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