distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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