it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
