I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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