I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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