know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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