it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
