Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
