So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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