worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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