it was like his penis was on wheels.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
