my mouth tastes like poor choices
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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