it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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