He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
