??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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