Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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