So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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