all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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