I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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