Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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