next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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