You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
