pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
