wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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