i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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